I was sitting here eating my cereal when I got to thinking. Is Cap'n Crunch a pirate or just a captain in the navy? Or is he just freelance or something? I know he has an enemy named Jean LaFoote who looks like a pirate but what about the Cap'n himself? If he is in the navy then he has to be the worst naval officer in history. I mean he's been around-what?-thirty or forty years and he's still only a captain? Shouldn't he be an admiral by now? Perhaps if he spelled his title correctly and didn't take the easy way out he would have been promoted years ago. 

Also, what's up with his eyebrows being on his hat? Are they his real eyebrows and they're overactive from too much caffeine? Or does he paint them on his cap so he always looks excited? And why did he choose the cereal business as a sideline? Why not frozen fish sticks or something else that comes from the sea?

Another thing occurred to me. With all the characters promoting cereals and other foods, how long will it be before Hollywood starts making movies about them? Sounds crazy, right? Then again, who would've thought one of the most anticipated movies of the summer (not by me but probably by someone out there) would be the final film of a trilogy based on a theme park ride? After all, at some point they have to run out of theme park rides and old television shows to recycle so what's next? Food characters of course.

I can see it now. Team up Snap, Crackle and Pop with Ernie the Keebler Elf and you have an epic fantasy trilogy like Lord of the Rings. "One Rice Krispie treat to rule them all!" How about this? Take Tony the Tiger ("He thinks crime fighting is GREEEEEAAATTT!") and Sonny the cuckoo bird ("He's cuckoo for Coco Puffs and kicking bad guy butt!") and you have the next buddy cop franchise.

Oh, sure, you're sitting there mocking me now but I bet one of these summers you'll be at your local multiplex waiting in line to see Cap'n Crunch: The Curse of the Frankenberry.

Trust me, it's only a matter of time…..