Okay, I know, I know. I haven’t blogged in eons. To be honest, I just haven’t had much to rant about. Actually, that’s not true. I did but it was serious shit and I like to keep this blog funny even if it is mostly venomous humor. I pretty much figured I was done with the blog but whenever I check the stats for it I am surprised to find that it still gets lots of hits. This despite the fact I haven’t written on it in the aforementioned eons. And also, my friend Glenn keeps getting on my case for not updating it so this should hopefully shut his pie hole for a little while.
Where to begin? Well, 2008 sucked. It will go down in history as one of the worst years in my life. Both of our beautiful and precious dogs—Gizmo and Nick—passed away within eight months of each other. For me it was further proof that God hates me. Though I suppose there is no way to find out for sure. God’s not going to tell me. And let’s face it, if you go and talk to a man of the cloth, he’s not going to say God hates you. He’ll come up with some reason for all of the suffering.
Which brings to mind the question for the ages: What is the reason for all of this suffering? Why couldn’t God cut me a break? I mean isn’t the fact that all of this bad shit happens almost proof that He hates me? Not just me but so many bad things happen to all of us. What’s the deal? Some people think this life is a test to see how we react and cope with things and that Heaven is our reward. Will we still love God when bad things happen to us? Things like that. So does that mean life is some kind of twisted social experiment that God is conducting? Are we His little action figures and the Earth His play set? The ultimate train set with real frigging trains. Who knows? I’m certainly at my wit’s end.
The only bright spot of 2008 was that the Phillies won the World Series. What a great night. I’ve never been much for sports for most of my life but for the last few years I have really gotten into them. Guess I’m a late bloomer. Now I am gearing up for the new season. I have my T-shirts, my jerseys. Sometimes I wish I still didn’t like sports though. I hate being so emotionally involved in the teams and their outcomes. I hate being bummed when my team loses.
Moving back here and experiencing tough times has made me understand Philadelphia and its sports fans a lot more. This is mostly a blue collar town. A place that hates change. A place where we all think we are cursed. Until the last few years, I honestly didn’t realize how much it has shaped my personality. Hell, we thought William Penn hated us for building a skyscraper taller than his statue and cursed us for it by never letting us win another championship until now. There are even Phillies T-shirts with the statue of William Penn on it that say: “From cursed to first.” I think most people here are so wrapped up in sports because they lead lives of quiet desperation and maybe don’t have dreams of their own. So they leave it up to their sports teams to accomplish things on their behalf.
I have noticed since my life isn’t where I want it to be I am more wrapped up in sports than I was when I lived in Burbank. To be honest, it worries me. I worry that I will always have to live vicariously through the players and never have an accomplishment of my own. Sure I felt happy when the Phils won the series but it wasn’t my accomplishment. I didn’t throw that last out. I didn’t hit those homeruns. I worry that I will never know the feeling that the Phillies got to experience on that magical night in October and I’m not ashamed to tell you it fucking scares the shit out of me.
So what else is there to report? My Mom and wife adopted a dog back in December. I did not want another dog but they wore me down. His name is Gregory (the shelter gave him that name) and he is a bison/havanese mix. He’s cute and all but I swear he’s bi-polar. One minute he loves us, the next he’s snapping at us. I didn’t want anything to do with him and of course I’m the one he’s most attached to. That is when he’s not snapping at me. The weird thing is when we bought this house, I was so excited that Gizmo and Nick would have a yard to run in and a porch to relax on. Now they’re gone and there’s this little white dog I barely know running in their yard and hanging on their porch. It’s just a strange feeling.
In January, I went back to Burbank for the first time since I moved back here. It was great to be back. Monday I was freezing my ass off and shoveling snow, Tuesday I was in jeans and a T-shirt driving the rent-a-car with the windows down. Of course, since I have shitty luck it rained most of the time I was there but I didn’t care. It wasn’t freezing, I got to see my friends, I got to have my Ice Blended Mochas from The Coffee Bean, and I was HOME. After two and a half years, I was finally home again if only for a week. A lot had changed but it still felt the same. I went to my church and enjoyed being there. I must have missed it because there was a baptism the night I went and I always used to get aggravated when something like that was going on at mass and it went long but this time I didn’t care. Though it was sad not seeing my pastor there since he passed away a few years ago at the age of 45. I didn’t get a chance to go back to Warner Bros. but maybe next time. I was just happy to be home.
Not much else to report. Still trying to do the writing thing. I had hoped by now this blog would be an update on how all of my projects are going but not so far. Maybe not ever. But hey, maybe the Phils will take it again this year.
Okay, so here is your new blog. Sorry it was kind of serious and not as funny as usual. But at least Glenn can leave me alone for a little while. As for everyone else, keep checking this site in case I do some more blogging. You never know, I may even do it on a regular basis. Stranger things have happened.
Then again, I wouldn’t count on it….
